Lee and The Nifflers
by Wotcher-Tonks
Summary: Lee Jordan is down in the dumps after his best friends fly the coop. And then, he gets an idea.


**Lee and the Nifflers**

**a/n my first time writing Lee Jordan, and my first time writing purely humor. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Lee Jordan sighed.

He was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, plotting.

His best friends had busted out not a week before, and he was feeling a bit lonely.

He knew that they were his best friends, but Fred and George were really more each other's best friends, not his. Lee knew that, but still, it stung a little that they had left him to face Umbridge while they went and had fun for a living.

He was always the odd man out, it seemed, with them. He was funny, but apparently not funny enough to help them run their shop.

Lee let his head drop on the table, the hard wood meeting his head with a dull thud.

He was a dull thud.

What could he do to undercut Umbridge? To undermine her?

Undermine…

As that word echoed around his head, he was hit by a flash of inspiration.

Undermine…

What was that creature Hagrid had taught them about last year?

Nifflers, burrowing creatures that search for anything shiny…

And then he had an idea.

OOOOOOOOOOOO

He ran to Hagrid's cabin the next day during lunch, feeling as though he had a precious task to do.

Lee rapped on the door frantically.

"Hagrid! Hagrid, open up! It's Lee!"

Hagrid swung the door open, leaving Lee's fist knocking on air.

"What do ye want?" Hagrid sounded gruff, but only because normally when Fred, George, or Lee were that excited, it meant trouble for somebody. They had a bit of a reputation that Lee thought was rather unfair.

"I'd like to borrow a few Nifflers, if that's all right."

"D'pends who it's al'right fo'," Hagrid said warily.

Lee looked left, then right, then behind him, and whispered, "Umbridge."

Despite what the Slytherins thought, Hagrid was a clever man, and he realized what Lee meant instantly.

"In 'er office?" He asked, with a gleam in his black eyes.

"Yes, and I'll need at least three. They won't get hurt, honest. It's just that, I think Umbridge needs some furry things to…cheer her up. I mean, everybody's giving her such a hard time. I think the Nifflers will help her find some good at Hogwarts. Or at least something shiny."

He and Hagrid sniggered for a minute.

"Al'righ', they're in the pen in the back," Hagrid told him, still laughing, before solemnly saying, "But be ca'ful, Lee."

"I will," Lee promised, holding his right hand up in the air.

Hagrid smiled, and jerked a thumb towards the door.

"Get on wi' ye."

Lee saluted Hagrid, and ran out to get the Nifflers.

They were wearing collars. A pink one said "Precious". A purple one said "Princess". And a lavender one said "Primrose."

Lee rolled his eyes at the sickening names, and took the collars off them, befriending the Nifflers with some spare Knuts he found in his robe pocket.

They now looked like ordinary, wild Nifflers. This was good, because they must not be traced back to Hagrid, or Umbridge would make him miserable.

"Come on, guys," he urged them, and with a snuffle and a snort, they were on their way.

Lee decided that he would place the Nifflers in her office right then. The longer he had them, the more opportunities for her to catch him.

There was only about fifteen minutes left of lunch, and time was of the essence.

Lee ran yet again. He was starting to feel a little winded. At least he'd have some muscles to brag about to Fred and George. He laughed, panted, and kept running.

He knew where her office was-he knew where everything was. It was one of the basic, fundamental rules for being a prankster.

_Know the lay of the land._

Stopping outside the segment of the castle that held her window, he put his armful of Nifflers on the ground, and persuaded them to stay there with a few more Knuts. _Somebody_ was going to reimburse him after this.

The Nifflers were absolutely devoted to him now, and it was almost a shame that this would be good-bye. They were pretty cute, after all. They had a streak of mischief, and Lee recognized and appreciated that.

He shook himself out of his reverie, and focused on his task.

He would have to levitate them into her window. He hoped that it wasn't Imperturbable, but realized that it almost certainly wasn't. She probably thought that no one would dare to levitate Nifflers into her office.

She thought wrong.

Feeling as though he ought to sing some sort of suspenseful, action type music, he picked a Niffler up. It squealed faintly, and Lee said, "Shhh! We've got work to do!"

He felt a little ashamed that he was talking to a Niffler. See, _that _was what happened when your friends were gone. You started to talk to Nifflers.

The Nifflers were starting to get restless, and Lee could hear the hushed voices of students leaving lunch. It wasn't right. He missed the normal shouting and chaos.

"Here goes."

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

And with a swish and a flick, the Niffler was airborne. It squealed for a second, but then seemed to begin to enjoy itself. It did little flips and somersaults in the air, and as it cavorted around, Lee wished for the hundredth time that Fred and George were there.

He shook himself, and directed it with his wand into her office window.

He was right- the window was unprotected.

Quickly, he finished the job, zooming the other Nifflers into the office, where he could hear, even from the ground, the noisy sounds of nosy Nifflers nosing around.

He smiled a little. _That gives the Portable Swamp a run for its bloody money!_

Maybe he didn't need Fred and George to be funny, to cause chaos. Maybe it just took a helpful gamekeeper, a hard wooden table, a flash of inspiration, a lot of pocket change, a horrible new headmistress, a penchant for pranking, a few well-placed Niff-

"WHAT IS THIS IN MY OFFICE??"

Time to run. Again.


End file.
